A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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matty russel are you on here

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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NAACP

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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