your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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NAACP

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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