Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

trumpy trumpy trump

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

thumb_up thumb_down +26

irish wristwatch JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i cant think of one.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

learn the ropes?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops