Welcome to die!

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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Dogs in my home.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Absolutely nothing considering millions of people perished and you people think its funny!

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops