A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

2 women were sitting quietly

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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