The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops