Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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I Have a Black Friend

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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WNBA

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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