How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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We are sorry for being so sorry, and apologize again for apologizing so much... Why wont you just let me apologize? Does this insult you? I apologize. HEY! STOP THAT! I SAID I WAS SORRY SORRY FOR BEING SORRY! FORGIVE ME PLEASE SORRY WHY ARE YOU DRAWING THAT KNIFE OUT OF THE... LISTEN I AM SORRY!!! From my book the boy that cried help too much: The help arrived and the boy was never seen again. TRIPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING! QUADRUPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING...ETC.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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