Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

Wanna know something funny? Your face

How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

Knock, Knock. Come In.

Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

What time is it? 20:45.

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

An atheist walks into a church

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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