Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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You're tall.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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The WNBA.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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A YouTube brawl began between two gentlemen in the comment section. They agreed to a final answer and moved on.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Jersey Shore

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Your mama's so fat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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