Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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Leave her alone...

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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24

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Membean

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops