A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

I had my period 3 days ago.

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...