Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

FUCK YOU NEVEN

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

thumb_up thumb_down +39

roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +37

3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops