There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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This one time at band camp....

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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I tell an anti joke!.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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pickle sniffer

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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