Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

Chinese drivers.

Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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