How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Women's rights.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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knock knock Come in!!!

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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