Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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i like turtals and kids

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Dani barton= lovely

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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crap!!

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops