What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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obama's promises

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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thumbs up!

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops