Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

Where do you live? In a house

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

What is 9 + 10? 21

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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