Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

69

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

THIS IS an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops