What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Barack Obama.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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