what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

thumb_up thumb_down -39

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down +183

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +32

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops