Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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a potato flew around my room

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Straight men can be bronies.

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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I am on a escalator.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Hearpin my durp

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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