Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

i dont like attention whores lol

How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

69

What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

Gays

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

this is not a joke

So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...