tea with milk?

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Leave her alone...

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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Membean

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops