How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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This is an anti-joke.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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