There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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Give me thumbs up!

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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You're tall.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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