Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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