you thought i was going to write a joke.. bitch

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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An English man walks into a pub.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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2 women were sitting quietly

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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