What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Your mom is a whore bitchy virgin

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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Bean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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