What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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9/11

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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agp

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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