Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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pickle juice?

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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69

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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