whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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