What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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Shit!

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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