What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Hi? No!!!!!

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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What is the worst part of a 4 blacks hanging from a tree? They were only children

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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