Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

You know what sucks? Yes.

Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

Guess what.. chicken butt

What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

rebecca is a hard worker

When Josh moran was born he was thrown up in the air three times and was caught twice.

Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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