A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I am a n1gger.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops