whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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You are Nerochan right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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Jewwy Jewstein

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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Shit!

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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