A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there aids

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

thumb_up thumb_down

Deadly cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops