Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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