There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

I'm gay. No homo.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

Strawberries!

whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's the police, they ask the questions.

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

tea with milk?

What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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