Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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Women's rights.

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Woman's rights

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

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meme

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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