1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do mexicans like most. icecubes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Deadly cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops