did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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That's not what she said.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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i like pie.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops