What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What's the deal with airline food?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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