Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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Anti-joke.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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modern love

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

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take out the f in way. there is no f in way. I see what you did there.

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religion.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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