- Anti Joke

Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

Tell you something funny.

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

Girls Basketball.

Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops