What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Penis

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yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car. ~YN~

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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Zach Barlow

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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