What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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69

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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BenWuzHear

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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