Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops